Star Trek: The Motion Picture

I remember the anticipation back in 1979 waiting for Star Trek: The Motion Picture (TMP) to arrive in the cinema and eagerly plonking my ass in a plush red seat to enjoy the movie.

But even me, a die-hard Star Trek fan, was bored with all the Enterprise porn in the movie. The story itself was an interesting one but told in leaden fashion. And it bore no small resemblance to the TOS episode "The Changeling" though told on a grander scale.

"It's how you tell 'em!", comedian Frank Carson said while guesting on RTE's "The Late Late Show" some decades ago (Ireland's Friday late night talk show). He was right. It's not the text of a joke or the plot of a story that makes it funny, interesting or involving. It's how that joke or story is told, the emotion that's imbued into it and the resonance it has with its audience.

I didn't recognise the characters in TMP. They had names and faces I recognized but they were not the characters I remembered from the TV series. Sure, 10 years of time had passed in the Star Trek universe, just as it had in the real world, but life in the Trek universe had altered these characters beyond my recognition.

The whole movie was imbued with a coldness and a cold detachment. It should have been Star Trek at its cerebral best but it fell flat. It's story badly told; it's pacing too languid and character scenes interspersed with far too many CGI effects and models shots that did little to move the story along.

Many have found the movie tough going and perhaps it's why we've never had a truly cerebral Star Trek movie since.

If you're one of those who found sitting through TMP a chore or you're someone who hasn't yet seen the movie and balks at it's underwhelming reputation, here's the movie in just 5 minutes. There's no fast-forwarding, and the footage was kept in Chronological order, from start to finish.

This is what you get when you take all the important plot points and put them together without all the filler! It's surprisingly coherent. It even keeps the very important "Spock, sit down" scene...

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